If You’re Feeling Stuck This One Is For You
Stuck and in a rut? I got you, well I have some ideas for you. Look, I can’t cure you but I thought maybe I could give some unsolicited advice? If you aren’t looking for any, you can just tell me to kick rocks but I’ll still leave this here in case you want to take a peek.
Talk to someone: Cliche, I know. You’ve heard it 100000x before, but I had to say it. I know you don’t want to, I know you want to hide under a rock or in your bed under the comfortable safety of your comforter. But just hear me out… most of the time things are scarier in your head and they become easier when you share them with someone and break things down. Tell someone you love, someone you trust, and/or a therapist. Don’t have anyone to talk to? Reach out to me! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m here. Text me, email me, DM me on Instagram, or reach out here. You’re safe with me.
If you are still thinking to yourself “Absolutely not, terrible advice”, what about writing down your thoughts? Just get them out of your head. Write them in a journal, or write them down and burn them (my therapist gave me this advice one time - 10/10).
P.S. Finding a therapist is hard! Don’t let it bring you down if you don’t find someone at first, it can be trial and error to find someone you really connect with and TRUST. I have listed a few resources below to help you find a therapist:
Remind yourself of your favorite/best qualities: Chances are if you’re in a deep rut you lose a sense of self, of who you are. I know I do. And sometimes I feel as though I have lost those qualities forever, but what I’ve learned is I never actually lose those qualities, I just lost touch with them. You will feel those feelings again, they are still inside of you, but sometimes you just can’t access them. Write them down. And then write the steps you need to take to get back to that place.
In addition, when I look my best, I feel my best. So brush your teeth, wash your hair, put on your favorite outfit and if you’re feelin’ it, put on some make up!
In the words of our queen, RuPaul, “It’s okay to fall down. Get up, look sickening, and make them eat it!”
Trust the process: Do the things that you know are good for you, such as the list you created with steps to get back to your favorite self. EVEN IF YOU DON’T FEEL LIKE IT (the hardest part, I know). Changing the way you feel is a slooooow process, it is a day by day process - sometimes an hour by hour process. I promise, overtime, it will get easier. So force yourself to get dressed every morning, make your bed, exercise, say affirmations out loud every day, talk about your struggles, cook, meditate, journal, go outside, draw, create a routine and practice self love. Although you may not feel different immediately, over time, they will make a difference.
Follow your passions and give back: Discover hobbies and rediscover old ones. Develop new skills. Learn something you’ve always thought about. Find what you’re curious about and pursue the things that give you energy. This is not selfish. When you do what revitalizes you, you’re better able to take care of others and contribute to something beyond yourself. Research behind contributing to something beyond yourself not only helps with psychological well-being and life longevity, but also gives people a sense of purpose.
Stop hanging out with people who drain your energy: We’ve talked about this in a weekly quote before (you can read it here)! If you surround yourself with unhappy, negative individuals you are doing yourself a disservice. We all have those people in our life that give us energy and take energy from us. Learn to create boundaries and lean into the relationships that elevate you, inspire you, support you, exhilarate you, and bring out the best version of yourself!
Know this may actually be for the best: Your body could be telling you it’s time for a change - this could be a relationship, a job, or the lifestyle you’re living. So check in, and REALLY listen. Once you’ve done this, take the steps to rid yourself of what is negatively affecting you, your body and/or your life. Live more authentically, do what is best for you always and you may just start to feel more alive again.